Monday, March 7, 2011

two years, and approaching the one year

Today marks the second full year I have been {his}...

We haven't had it very easy, we have wrestled and fought and struggled through our junk...but every day I see that he is perfect for me, God's very best.

He is patient with me, and kind. He carries the weight of so much so that I don't have to. He listens to me, like really listens, and offers wisdom... And he has walked with me through the most harrowing valley I have ever known... one which is approaching an anniversary as well.

The pain is less raw these days, less at the forefront of my thoughts. I am missing Dad, yes, and long to see him just once more, but I can feel that the sorrow is being restored to joy.

I was thinking, this morning, about the Scripture we had read at his funeral...

Psalm 27
 Of David.

The LORD is my light and my salvation— whom shall I fear? The LORD is the stronghold of my life— of whom shall I be afraid?
    2 When evil men advance against me to devour my flesh, when my enemies and my foes attack me, they will stumble and fall.
    3 Though an army besiege me, my heart will not fear; though war break out against me, even then will I be confident.
 4One thing I ask of the LORD, this is what I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD and to seek him in his temple.
    5 For in the day of trouble he will keep me safe in his dwelling; he will hide me in the shelter of his tabernacle and set me high upon a rock.
    6 Then my head will be exalted above the enemies who surround me; at his tabernacle will I sacrifice with shouts of joy; I will sing and make music to the LORD.
 7Hear my voice when I call, O LORD; be merciful to me and answer me.
    8 My heart says of you, Seek his face! Your face, LORD, I will seek.
    9 Do not hide your face from me, do not turn your servant away in anger; you have been my helper. Do not reject me or forsake me, O God my Saviour.
    10 Though my father and mother forsake me, the LORD will receive me.
    11 Teach me your way, O LORD; lead me in a straight path because of my oppressors.
    12 Do not hand me over to the desire of my foes, for false witnesses rise up against me, breathing out violence.
 13I am still confident of this: I will see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living.
    14 Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD.


It's just floored me, how the Lord has used this word to speak into my life over the last (almost) year. Yes, truly.... I am still confident of this: I will see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living (v. 13).

And so I give thanks; for this year, this journey that I didn't ask for, this man who has braved the barren valley with me...

This is how I am seeing the goodness of the LORD even still...

|| husband love
|| that smile of his
|| the snow capped peaks that I get to drive through each day
|| polite paws crossed
|| pretty blooms emerging all over lawn
|| a car that doesn't get stuck in snow
|| runny noses and little ones who need them wiped
|| snuggles with puppy
|| friends who read my words and encourage me to keep them coming
|| connections... the kinship of grief and loss
|| the ones who tenderly show me that they remember the one year
|| His peace, over and over again, His peace
|| His beauty here, now, and that by looking I can see it